We all know those people: the guys and the girls who cannot be alone.

I have long wondered what causes such an epidemic of bouncing from relationship to relationship, and being madly in love (after two weeks) in each of them. Daddy issues or a lack of mommy hugs, perhaps.

But while we may forever search for the root of this issue, we at least know of a solution: self-love. The problem is, it’s a solution not many know how to embrace.

Long ago, I had to learn the hard way that I was only going to be happy with another individual if I was first happy with myself. One should never go searching for someone who will create the emotion, rather someone who will complement what’s already there. And that notion isn’t just limited to love and happiness, but all aspects of life. 

The reality of the matter is that you are responsible for your own happiness. If you cannot be happy with yourself, you cannot love yourself. And how can you expect another individual to feel an emotion for you that you can’t even feel for yourself? It’s an antagonistic expectation that places unwarranted pressure on an unsuspecting individual.

It is my own personal belief that self-love is the greatest love of all, because it creates the ability to produce all other forms of love. It’s important to understand that self-love is not arrogance or the idea of being self-absorbed, rather being comfortable with one’s inner-self. “Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self,” Tyra Banks once said. “It’s about accepting all of yourself.” And when an individual accepts all of their self, they make it easy for someone else to come along and do the same.

Signed,

Sirelle